Three days of neo-rave armageddon and they weren’t joking either.

The London-based party outfit Bangface have been running their outstandingly cool club night for the past five years in the inner armpit of London, a vision they describe as a “neo-rave explosion of acid, jungle, rave hardcore, drum n bass, breakcore, techno and electronica”. No, seriously.

After successfully running a dance tent at electronic music Glade Festival, they decided to organise their own festival.

The three-day (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) festival was hosted at Camber Sands Butlins, which is a 3,000 person capacity 1960s family holiday camp. Apartment-style “chalets” provided basic accommodation and on site there was a pub, a shop (which sold inflatable rafts and booze), a swimming pool, an amusement arcade a kids play area. It was kitsch supreme.

I nearly died when I saw the lineup. Fuck me, I’m there.

BANG ROOM: Dave Skywalker, Knifehandchop, Bogdan Raczyniski, Krome and Time, Ceephax Acid Crew, Ragga Twins and Vibert, Aaron Spectre, Venetian Snares, Scotch Egg, X&Trick, DMX Crew, The Flashbulb, Kid606, Remarc, Phil Hartnoll (Orbital), Altern-8, The Panacea, Bong-Ra, Shitmat, Saint Acid.

FACE ROOM: Steve Strawberry, Global Goon, DJ Rephelex Records, Model 500, DJ Stingray, Modeselektor, Richard Devine, Radioactiveman, Si Begg, Aba Shanti-I Soundsystem, Kelpe, Dopplereffekt, Mat Carter, Mala (Digitial Mystikz) Kode 9, Plaid, M-ziq, Mike Dred, The Doubteful Guest, The DJ Producer.

QUEEN VIC: Warp DJs, Kelpe, Mat Carters, Cylob, Nexus 21, Edmx, Kosmik Kommando, M2, Wrong Chill, Spin Laden , Electro Elvis, Warp DJs, Ceephax, Keith Tenniswood, Wrong Disco, Steve Strawberry, Derailleur, Shinra, Firstcask Djs, Weme DJs, Aula, DJ Rephelex Reocrds, Vexkiddy, Casette Boy.

BANG FACE ROOM: Luke Vibert, Long Range, Jackson & His Computer Band, Chas & Dave, Beardyman, Squarepusher.

Diaper man! Photo taken by Simon Clement-Hawes for www.virtualfestivals.com

Costumes are the way forwards. Photo from the bangface website.

Friday night, pulling up to Butlins and seeing large posses of neon rainbow ravers reminded me of some prepubescent wet dream from the late 80s. People were super friendly, though, and everyone was stocking up on booze in the shop.

The party was GO! I lost my brain pretty early in the evening, but I distinctly remember the space-age, Commodore looking Detroit legends Model 500 – like they invented techno? That’s amazing. Their music drilled tiny holes in my retina.

And everyone around me had amazing outfits. People really went to town. The vibe could have easily been skeezy and slightly sinister in the hands of another organiser, but it was clear everyone felt safe to have fun and go for it. Lots of guys chatted with me with no horrible ego or strange misconceptions. How refreshing!

Party a go-go. Photo taken by Andrew Crowe.

Glowstick jiggling. Photo taken by Andrew Crowe.

Early Saturday morning I woke, to the sound of vodka, sun, and special dreamy slowness spent on the grassy artists’ residence courtyard. Whereas normal campers where still pumping gabba out of their windows at 8am, we had Kraftwerk. Nice.

At noon, Kat & I headed over to the rave pool party (pictures below). The DJ, who wore a wetsuit, played drum n bass and jungle. There were a hundred water fights and underwater feats performed. SPLASH!

The ultimate rave pool party to end all pool parties. Photo from the bangface website.

Pool rules. Photo from the bangface website.

Wet wet wet. Photo from the bangface website.

During the day, I met up with some friends in the Queen Vic pub and danced to Ceephax’s wonky, wrong tunes and quirky jokes.

My friend Good Ben apparently kept harassing Normski on the 24-hour BANGFACE TV, which every room got on their chalet tv. Ben asked the annoying Normski how old old he was, just to wind him up – which didn’t go down too well. After an apology, Ben made a shout out for his ipod and phone, both which got stolen. “Thud face firm crew al-dente to the core” was his final message. The Norm, we discovered, was 41.

The night was mainly drifting between the rooms, which all seemed to be drum n bass, some darker shades than others. Fucks knows who we saw? It was just about having fun and trying to find friends you’d lost and bumping into other friends. We ate fried chicken and danced and then early in the morning, headed to the beach.

Pete on Camber beach. Photo taken by Andrew Crowe.

On Sunday, it was like one long slightly sober dream come true: Luke Vibert, Long Range, Jackson & His Computer Band, Chas & Dave, Beardyman, Squarepusher.

I got my horn taken off me by security, who rushed into our chalet – whatever. I got another one!

Then at about midnight, we got invited to a gabba party in one of the chalets and amongst trees full of glowsticks and funny kids and people leaping into the air, Bong-ra showed up to the party. Tres cool.

Unfortunately, I started seeing black flurries of bunny rabbits behind the chalets and went to sleep listening to the kilk-klik of the police tape flapping in the wind outside the living room in Good Ben’s chalet. Scary stuff!

Squarepusher, the legend, on bass, live. Photo from the bangface website.

Chas and Dave perform to unbelieving fans. Photo taken by Simon Clement-Hawes for www.virtualfestivals.com

Monday was full of fear and loathing, but we managed to stop in Hastings for some fish n chips at a seaside pub and toured the Old Town, combing through bric-a-brac to regain our sanity.

It took me well over a week to recover. Can’t wait til next year!

If you fancy a taste of the madness, BANGFACE 56 is on Friday 11th July 2008. Their lineup features N-JOI • LUKE VIBERT • ED RUSH, RAIDEN • MILANESE feat. BEN SHARPA, MARK N • SIMON UNDERGROUND • CHEVRON, YOUTH TV + ST. ACID & BANG FACE HARD CREW. The party takes place at ELECTROWERKZ, 7 TORRENS ST, LONDON EC1, from 9pm-6am. £9 TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW: TICKETWEB.CO.UK

IN RECORD SHOPS: SISTERRAY • PHONICA • KNOWHOW. This month’s theme, in case you like dressing up, is Freedom.

Or catch them at Glade. We heard that they weren’t doing a tent there this year, but it’s all LIES!!!!!!!!

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