Styled by Richie Rich, Andrew & David West, photographed by Xander Ferreira

All hail SWEAT.X, Markus Wormstorm and MC Spoek Mathambo, the tropicoloured, super stylee duo from South Africa, that speak a lot about pussy. Yes, pussy. They want you to infiltrate their world that is full of all sorts of fascinating things like, in their words, “dayglo, giraffe riding, slush puppy slurping, wormstorm shaking, coochie popping, spear chucking, ass busting, fashion trashing, derier splitting, electric boogaloo breaking, Afrikan bass music! The black sweat thing!”

All this future funk fusion means that when Sweat.X is blaring out your boombox or on the dance floor, keep your dancing shoes near and prepare to fkkn swwweeeatttt to their Afro-elektro, booty bouncing, disko, snap happy, ghetto-tech, old skool hiphop pop!! Juke Juke Pop Pop Ass to the floor!! As the Germans say, “Lets make parttttyyyyyy!!”

Presently signed to the London based label CITINITE the boys have an EP, “Ebony Ivory Tron,” due for a July release, as well as an EU tour, “Go Black Go Low Go Fast,” slated for June!! *Check the end of this post for tour locations and dates.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Sweat.X – Nuflex Cowabunga

Sweat.X decided to be clever and interview each other, so this is them talking to us!

Spoek: What’s the plan with Sweat.X?

Markus: To stay ahead of the game…to keep reinventing ourselves and our style…so we can chase the season ’till our blood runs cold.

Spoek: I wanna rap until my face falls off….dance until the sexual harassment summons come In the mail! Spread joy…!

Markus: Tell us a lil’ bit about the Citinite label, your releases, tours….

Spoek: We’re releasing our EP, Ebony Ivory Tron on Citinite in July. That’s 7 stupid fresh bangers…it’s like an intro to the “black sweat sound” as such!! Then we’re dropping the full album at the beginning of next year. We’ll be in Europe for a month…check up on that at www.myspace.com/sweatx….for the venues and dates etc.
Our label Citinite In London First of all, we’re label mates with some of the funkiest men on earth!! Egyptian Lover…who practically influenced west coast sound and electro for the last 30 years…John Davis…hmm….Cazelica!! It’s real cool to be on a tough label where it’s not just a hype ting…not a trendy trend thing just!! We’re quite a deviation from the rest of the roster… Black sheep. Black feet!

S: You’re a pretty well dressed guy…rather…stylish…give us your style prediction for the next season?

M: Why thank you, Spoek…hmmmm let me see…for SUMMER I’d say Barberella meets those sneakers in Back to the Future 2, Glam Gold and porcelain neon Early nineties glam scifi type o’ hype. For WINTER I’m seeing Trash, Trash, Trash in all its forms…….my favorite is a sort of Trash-Doo-wap-Trash-Boogie-Woogie-Trash-Twist like Caligula meets Chubby Checker or something.

M: Sweat.X is sometimes referred to as The S dot X, why is that? And how did you guys come up with the name?

S: S dot X as in SEX…it’s a cross-pollination of how we wrote G_D at Hebrew School and the dirty words we’d say during the breaks…words for dirty bits and how they connect.

S: What gangster rap group would you join and what would be your rap name?

M: I’d rap with DMX! I’m kinda torn between the names……THE SUMMONER X (like that one) or TIME-COP.

M: There’s been talk for sometime now about adding a female element in Sweat.X. What are you looking for? Or is it just a drunkenly slurred pickup line blown out of context?

S: Worldwide they are killing dudes on that dancefloor sex business. Sweat.X needs a hype girl with good table manners, who knows how to hold her spare ribs down…a slush puppy fan, who can pop-lock!! The ideal has a quick wit, dirty mouth, clean fingernails, good hair, and funky feet…a real shebrew!!

S: What character in Seinfeld is Markus Wormstorm? Why?

M: Guys cant be Elaine cause she’s a chick…so..o bother….as much as it hurts to say it….I think I’m George Costanza……..I’m not as bad a loser as he is though…..but we end up in some pretty awkward situations…like that sweat lodge experience I got conned into last week…yeack!!

M: k here’s a two part question…If you had to go live on a distant island for twenty-five years, what or who would you take with you? and why?

S: Hmmm, damn!?! I would take a really strong, jungle savvy woman, who can hunt, knows which berries are dangerous, can communicate with gorillas and how to make toilet wipes from dry leaves…2-ply! Kinda like Charlize Theron in Mighty Joe Young…ja, Charlize Theron…not Segourne Weaver…she’ll be like 80 in 25 years…eeuw!

M: Spoek! Can i take this one also? Cool! I’ll take Ghandi with me to the distant island.

M: Then when you came back from the Island, and your name is getting written with sky writing and there’s all posters of you and thousands and thousands of people dancing, and somebody gives you a country what would your exception speech be?

S: I’d be too busy tryna calm mine and Charlize’s hyphie ass jungle babies to write any speeches.

S: What’s your favorite flavor Slush Puppy?

M: Purple obviously!

SWEAT.X, GO BLACK GO LOW GO FAST TOUR
23rd June, London, Magic Circle at The Old Blue Last:
with Punks Jump Up, Zombie Disco Squad…
27th June, London, DZD at Madame Jojo’s:
line-up tba
29th June, Liege, Party Harders at Soundstation:
with Gaspirator, Zombie Disco Squad…
30th June, Berne, Wasserwerk:
line-up tba
8th July, Paris, Goutte Dior at La Java:
line-up tba
13th July, Copenhagen, Yohad:
with Patchwork Pirates
14th July, London, Get Rude at Catch 22:
with Zombie Disco Squad
more dates to come

Related posts

• Rogerseventytwo This: More Lowdown on the Lowlands
• The Brooklyn Electronic Music Festival
• Shir Khan – Maximize!